Two Handed Warriors

Bungee-Jumping to Eternity: The Existential Angst of Dead Poets Society

Part of ongoing series:  Hollywood and Higher Education: Teaching Worldview Thru the Stories We Live By

“Carpe Diem!  Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” 
-Mr. Keating (Robin Williams)

by Gary David Stratton

posterDead Poets Society, 1989 Oscar winner for best original screenplay, boasts an impressive Hollywood lineage. In addition to the best screenplay win for Tom Schulman,  Dead Poets earned a best director nomination for Peter Weir, a best actor nomination for Robin Williams. It also helped launch the careers of Oscar-nominated actor Ethan Hawke (Training Day, Before Sunset), as well as Emmy-nominated actors Robert Sean Leonard (House), and Josh Charles (The Good Wife). Not bad for a small budget film few imagined would grow into culture-shaping cinema.
It is also one of the best films ever made on the vocation of teaching. I rarely meet any teacher, professor, or youth minister who wasn’t deeply moved by their first encounter with Dead Poets Society.  It deftly touches a nerve for anyone entrusted with the thrilling, yet delicate art of shaping young lives.
Mr. Keating’s brief sojourn at the fictional Welton Academy captures both the highest hopes and greatest fears of anyone who has ever stood in front of a classroom. As it turns out, worldview formation is as dangerous as it is fulfilling.
Which brings me to my real point.
Worldview Transformation

Gather ye rose buds while ye may…

Dead Poets is also a tremendous film for anyone interested in the art of worldview formation in film and in life. First, it illustrates the power of mentors, texts, and communities in shaping worldview. Second, it gives soaring testimony to the power of Existentialism in the quest to escape the gravity of Physicalism into the intoxicating heights of Idealism.  Finally, it provides a troubling warning as to the power of nihilism to crush the dreams of the unsuspecting idealist. (For an explanation of Physicalism versus Idealism, see, It’s a Wonderful Worldview: Frank Capra’s Theistic Masterpiece.)
The Welton Worldview
Both in movies and real life, worldview change never comes easily. Human beings are insanely committed to maintaining the societal traditions and personal strategies we’ve carefully developed for managing our lives, even and especially when those strategies are counter-productive. Dead Poets does a wonderful job of detailing how good teachers expose the counter-productive flaws in their students’ worldview. And no worldview seems quite so flawed as that of the mythical Welton academy in which Dead Poets Society is set.
As a highly traditional 1950’s college preparatory academy, Welton is rooted in what appears to be a highly Physicalist (if somewhat religiously Deistic) worldview. (For an explanation of the four levels see, Casablanca and the Four Levels of Worldview.)  In other words, the hard, pragmatic realities of the physical world are the only things that are “really real” at Welton.

The underlying story of Welton Academy is financial success, not personal exploration

Level 4—Story/Basis: The underlying story of Welton is success, or more specifically, the financial success and social status available to those who get into prestigious schools in order to gain entry into prestigious careers.
Todd Anderson’s (Ethan Hawke) disengaged parents may forget what they got him for his last birthday, but they know they want for his life–Valedictorian honors and a National Merit scholarship like his older brother. (Hint: The Welton Academy Yearbook is a great source for keeping characters straight.)
Neil Perry’s (Robert Sean Leonard) helicopter father may not listen to his son’s desires to write for the school newspaper (or become an actor), but he already has his son’s life planned out for him whether he likes it or not:
Mr. Perry: “You’re going to Harvard and becoming a doctor.”
Level 3—Values/Principles: Welton faculty and administration oblige their moneyed parents by creating an academy rooted in the values of “tradition, honor, discipline, excellence.” They celebrate “the light of knowledge” with religious trappings and a strong classical sense of morality, giving Welton a rather Deistic slant. All we really know about this distant God is that he doesn’t want girls at “Helton” distracting the “boys” (not men) from their studies. (The Welton Academy Yearbook is a great source for keeping characters straight.)

“Tradition, honor, discipline, excellence.”

Level 2 — Strategies/Culture: Accordingly, Welton’s academic culture is devoted to a highly traditional curriculum and educational methodology.  We are offered brief glimpses into the strict world of “normal” Welton classrooms marked by rote memorization of Greek, Biology, and Calculus.
These are not the kind of classrooms a creative personality would cherish, but that’s just fine with most Welton students. They are just going through the motions doing whatever is necessary in order to gain parental approval and Ivy League admission.
Level 1—Action/Behavior: By the end of Act 1, it is clear that while Welton students may not particularly like the school, enjoy belittling its values, and despise their parent’s transference of their success stories upon their lives, they still go along with the flow in overall daily decisions.
The Keating Worldview

Enter the transformation artist

All this begins to change when the students enter the classroom of Welton’s newest teacher—Mr. Keating (Robin Williams). Like a character in Plato’s cave analogy, Keating has broken free of the bondage of Welton’s limited perspective and returned to enlighten students still chained to the wall of shadows. Like Morpheus in The Matrix, Keating is determined to “free the minds” of his students in order to help them enter a larger, richer world of the liberal arts.
It is a beautiful story of how great teachers foster worldview change in their students. Keating employs a dizzying teaching arsenal of texts (Walt Whitman, etc.), music (The 1812 Overture), mentorship (“O Captain, My Captain”), learning exercises (standing on desk), challenge (“A sweaty-toothed madman”), and community (The Dead Poets Society) to captivate his students’ imaginations. While at first, his classroom is merely, “Weird, but different,” it gradually becomes the focal point of their universe.
Mr. Keating wants his students to consider a robust and romantic version of the worldview of Existentialism. Existentialism rooted in Physicalism, yet rejecting its pragmatic pessimism.

Make your lives extraordinary!

Level 4—Story/Basis: Walt Whitman and the other romantic poets teach us that even though Physicalism may be scientifically true in that “we are all food for worms,” we can strive to make meaning out of our own brief lives by our own choices and values. Keating’s story is a radical rebellion against both Nihilistic Physicalism–which insists that life has no meaning–and a Welton worldview, which insists that students live only for the Physicalist goals of their parents.  Mr. Keating is not so much interested in his students’ embracing their parents’ story of financial/social success as he is that they live their own story.
Keating: We are food for worms, lads. Believe or not, each and every one of us in this room is going to stop breathing, turn cold, and die… Peruse some of the faces of the past (Welton students) …Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable. Because you see, gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you: (whispered) ‘Carpe Diem! …Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.”
Level 3—Values/Principles: Beyond the walls of the physical universe Keating points his students to the Idealistic realm of beauty, love, and meaning that eludes those trapped in the Physicalist worldview. Naturalistic Physicalism would tell us that the universe is a “box” limited by space and time, and accessible only through the physical senses. Our hearts tell us a different story.  There is something more to life than what we can touch, taste, hear, see, and smell.  Poetry points the way to this larger world of values, that can’t be measured “scientifically” like a “length of pipe”[1] nor explained with graphs like J. Evans Pritchard, Ph.D.
Keating then tells his students to rip out the entire introduction to their poetry textbook and has them “huddle up” to hear the real meaning of poetry (and life.)
Keating: We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Now, medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary for sustaining life, but poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”
This speech is a stunning description of Existential Idealism in its purest Romantic form. And it will not be the last.

Seeing the world from a new perspective

Level 2—Strategies/Culture: Keating’s goal is for his students to stop mimicing and reciting the words of others, and “find your own voice,” and “Learn to think for yourselves again.”
On top of his desk, he gets them to consider life from a new perspective. In the courtyard, he gets them to fall into the trap of walking in conformity to the life of those around us. On the soccer field, he inspires them to reach their full potential.
Watch desk scene here.
Freedom from Physicalism
As I said above, it is liberal arts education at its finest. He is using the arts to liberate his students from seeing life only from their own tradition and preconceptions. (See, The Greco-Roman Liberal Arts.) It is a breathtaking and soul stirring tour de force his students find nearly iresistible.
Slowly, Keating’s students begin to break free from the suffocating gravity of a Physicalist worldview, in order to embrace the broader Idealistic world he has opened up for them….
Level 1—Action/Behavioral: Of course, the movie only gets going once some of the boys actually start acting on Mr. Keating’s worldview.
And that is where the story really gets interesting!
Next: Ideas Have Consequences: The Power and the Limits of Existentialism, Dead Poets Society, Part 2
See also:

Hollywood and Higher Education: Teaching Worldview Through the Stories We Live By

Casablanca and the Four Levels of Worldview: Why Everyone Meets at Rick’s 

Crash goes the Worldview: Why Worldview Transformation Requires Changing Scripts

It’s a Wonderful Worldview: Frank Capra’s Theistic Masterpiece

Bungee-Jumping to Eternity: The Existential Angst of Dead Poets Society

Deep Culture: Is Winning an Oscar a Reliable Indicator of a Truly Great Film?

The Blind Side leading the Blind: Better Faith-Based Filmmaking through Better Stories

Related Posts:

Using Zombie Movies to Teach Politics, by Daniel W. Drezner

The Joker Is Satan, and So Are We: René Girard and The Dark Knight, by Charles Bellinger

Echoes of René Girard in the Films of Martin Scorsese: Scapegoats and Redemption on ‘Shutter Island,’ by Cari Myers

Hitchcock and the Scapegoat: René Girard, Violence and Victimization in The Wrong Man, by David Humbert

Notes

 


[1] Perhaps an allusion to George Bailey’s objection to his father’s commitment to the Building and Loan in “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

78 thoughts on “Bungee-Jumping to Eternity: The Existential Angst of Dead Poets Society

  1. Amy Kusske

    My view on this movie had changed radically with the lessons from Gary on worldview. I attended a private Catholic school young and sent my children to the same school. I now am sending my oldest to a charter school instead of a public high school and this movie has made me think about some of my reasons and motives for both my daughter and I.
    Keating is a one of kind teacher, to find someone who has the energy and worldview like that is hard. The system in our institutions are not always open to change whether religious or public. The physical world usually takes precedence over the idealistic worldview because we are relying on ourselves and money along with titles in a picture of success a young adult does not have the capability to grasp. The texts, mentors, communities that can shape our worldview need to be influenced from the arts and theism. I believe that is why our world is moving toward a direction of physicalstic view instead of a healthy balance of idealistic and physical. Many schools have taken God out of schools along with the arts, WHERE IS THE BALANCE, WHERE IS GOD?

    1. Debbie Aaberg

      HI Amy,
      I love your comments here and I am also glad that you are thinking over why you have your daughter where you have her. Not because it's right or wrong but I think its wonderful that you are rethinking this just to make sure the motives are best for your daughter.

    2. Linda Werner-Woerle

      Amy –

      I miss having you in class. I totally agree with you, where is God in our schools. I find that not only in schools, but in places of work it is all about self and money (physicalism). We have to be careful who is shaping our kid's lives and we better be involved in our kid's lives and guide them into God's ways (theism). Great teachers can foster worldview change in their students.

    3. Jennifer A.

      Amy I too went to Catholic school and have sent my children as well probably for the same reason you chose. However I chose to send them to public school becuase I wanted them to see the world in a different view. One that wasn't primarily white upper middle class. The world is full of different beliefs and cultures and I want my kids to be exposed to that versus sheltered as I was. The kids at Welton would never be exposed to other cultures, that makes me sad to think of how much they will be missing in life.

  2. Ronelle S-Andrews

    Hi Jelimb,
    I like your post. There needs to be an open communication with parents and children. Even if it hurts, it's better to get things out in the open before it gets too late. Sometimes in most cases it is better if a child could listen to one vioce to avoid confusion in his/her life while growing up.

  3. Ronelle S-Andrews

    My view on this movie opens a door to a different prospective. I like the win-win situation. This is where each person gets what they want but not to a full extent. When I look back at my life, I could not have done it without my parents.
    In as much as Neal's father wanted his desires to be fulfilled in his son, he could have also embraced his son's desires as well. The father may not like it, but Neil happens to be the subject of the matter and without Neil there is no dream.
    This is where communication comes in. In this sense we no longer see life from a Physicalist point of view but we embrace the Idealistic prospective of how we see things. That there is a God who will guide us in all truths. Mr. Keating started Neil on a beautiful path, but I taught that the timing was wrong. Life can be much easier with an open communication. Neil now, only finds himself in a box. So to him his only way out of the situation is to get rid of his own life. What a sad ending. I have learned to use a win-win concept in many complicated situations. It is not very easy, but it works out just fine. This is a never ending problem in today's society.

  4. Pingback: Bungee-jumping to Eternity: The Power and Limits of Existentialism | Two Handed Warriors

  5. Andre Dillard

    With great power comes great responsibility…where have I heard that before…anyway did you see how some of the parents drop the ball? Especially when Neil's distraught, but angry and stubborn, father holds Keating responsible for his son's suicide and forces Headmaster Nolan to launch an investigation into Keating's teaching methods. Proverbs 22:6 comes in mind " Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it". As Christians we have a Great responsibility, but as Christian parents we should not condone or excuse self-will, each child has natural talents as parents we should encourage them, not stop them.

    1. Amy Kusske

      Andre,
      Great point we do forget. Sometimes we forget the morals we teach our children do not need to be controlled and hoovered over like a helicopter. Trusting in what we teach from Scripture and God to do the rest is hard to do in a controlling society, as it is very impressionable to young kids.

    2. Linda Werner-Woerle

      Andre –

      I totally agree with you that as parents we have a huge responsibility raising children to love God and live moral lives which now days is not an easy task. That is why praying for our children every day is so important to guide them in making good decisions and choices. I know with our children, we let them make choices and not allways impose what sports or whatever we liked upon them. We let them try different things to see which they liked. We can only control so much in our kid's lives and we don't want them to turn against us.

    3. Colleen

      Yes, wasn't that just terrible of Neil's father! Stubborn is a great description. I would add pig–headed as well. The father was so power hungry….to the point that his own wife would not stand up for her son. This film was all about the two extremes of encouragement. On one side, Mr. Keating encouraging growth in any direction that seemed natural and on the other side was the narrow minded father and head school master.

  6. JELIMB

    Carpe Diem and the Escape from Physicalism Dead Poets Society

    As I viewed "Dead Poets Society" this weekend, I was amazed that my perspectives about the movie were much different than the first time I saw it several years ago. I appreciated being able to see a broader picture of the story and characters this time, and really appreciated the underlying struggles which were portrayed. Though I don't always "like" Robin Williams as an actor, I thought he (as Mr. Keating) was exemplary in his rather unconventional role as teacher/mentor to the students at Welton. I appreciated his passion to do whatever it took to develop the full potential of the young men under his wing. The phrase "…beyond the walls of the physical universe Keating points his students to the idealistic realm of beauty, love, and meaning that eludes those trapped in the Physicalist worldview" (Two Handed Warrior/Stratton article) seems to succinctly describe this educational phenomenon. He pushed the students toward different ways of viewing and responding to their world, and he also stirred the elements of "norm" within the confines of tradition in the educational setting at Welton. It seems that he was not only teaching the students, but he was modeling his worldview to the administration and other instructors–or, "practicing what he preached", even though it stirred controversy and conflict. (and was ultimately painfully costly to him)

    I appreciated this movie not only for the intriguing themes and life-lessons entwined in the interactions between characters, but also for the nuggets of truth which can be applied to our lives today. Certainly, having a surety about what we believe and the courage to stand up for our values and beliefs in the midst of "the winds that buffet"(or conflict/controversy) is important. This was a valuable perspective that I took away from the story.

    1. Chong Vang

      I agree, this movie reminds me how hard it was for me to stand up to my dad when I was young. I remember getting to a point where I decided not to even bother. I wish I had the courage to stand up more. My worldview and his differently did not match, justifiably for a lot of reason. culture shifts and traditions from different continent. I hope when my kids stand up to me about changes, I hope I have the wisdom to listen and keep an open mind.

    2. Amy Kusske

      Jelimb,
      I too looked at this movie differently at an older age and different place in my life. Good point on the fact that the staff was in a transformation along with the students. from Keating's teachings and the reaction from the students. Too bad they lost a great spirit of a friend.

    3. garydstratton Post author

      The troubling question to me is not why there are so many Mr. Nolans in the world, but why are there are so few Mr. Keatings?

    4. Jennifer A.

      Your last paragraph talks about having a surety about what we believe and the courage to stand up for others. I thought Keating displayed a great deal of courage and possibly naivetivity that his teaching would be accepted, but held to his beliefs in what needed to be taught. His teachings appeared to work as some of the students rebelled in the last scene and stood on their desks. I too will carry that value with me.

    5. Rose M. Jenkins

      When you are sure of who you are take the passion and coviction to let others know who you are. This is the type of movie which encourage you people to listen to their inner voice.

  7. Bob Roethke

    Jelimb,
    I love the conversation Mr. McAllister has with Mr. Keating at lunch time about Keating's
    unconventional lesson. Initially, McAllister thinks it was a crazy lesson. I agree with you when you say, "Amazing are the ripple effects on individuals and systems around them caused by change." It is apparent that after observing Keating's teaching principals in action, McAllistar was impressed. At the end of the movie, McAllistar is shown marching a class out in the courtyard just as Keating had done. Here is an example of the ripple effect you previously mentioned. Not only were individual students changed but another seasoned teacher as well. Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Being an old dog myself, I appreciate the reality of that scene having served as an instructor in the U.S. Navy.

  8. Andre Dillard

    I also like this movie!! It show how power can be used wrongly…let me explain like this. There is a football team the Oakland Raiders. There motto is "A commitment to Excellence". Now remember they haven't won or went to the Super Bowl since 2003. Since then there be just okay. The reason I'm bringing that up is look at the beginning of this movie. Everyone of the banners the kids held said, Tradition, Honor, Discipline, Excellence was a way of life to them….*key word* "TO THEM meaning the facility. That's not the way of life…that is a robot!
    The reason Mr Keaton (Robin Williams) was showing them how to be different, He showed taught them several ways to do that. The one I like was when they stood on the desk and said, look at things in a different way’. Shouldn't we as Christians look to witness, or evangelize, or talk about the "good news" in a different way. Just asking.

    1. Bob Roethke

      Andre,

      I agree with you Andre. We must not change the message (the Gospel of Jesus Christ) but deliver it with the individual abilities God has created within each of us. Keaton did what was right. He found his voice. He had an order about himself and he was not a fool. If we conduct ourselves appropriately in God’s orderly fashion, we will be made successful in our service.

      I watched this movie before but watching it again taking our studies in consideration, undergoing change, has made it really interesting.

    2. JELIMB

      Andre,

      I appreciated your comments about "looking at things in a different way"…particularly as you tied this into your perspective about how we as Christians share "the good news". Wow, that is interesting to consider–since it seems we can get stuck in "models or methods" rather than exhibiting genuine love and passion to share the message. One must consider what "banners" of values or worldviews we may have memorized or made into our motto–and to ask God to transform us toward genuine faith and action as we relate to others. Much to be learned, and I always appreciate your courage to ask questions and challenge beyond the status quo. Thanks, Andre!

    3. Chong Vang

      Andre,

      I agree that we should be the ones looking at things differently. However, from my perception of life, I see that we as Christians, could learn a thing or two from the non-Christians. In my culture, I see that the non-Christians love and help each other more or better than the Christians do. That to me is an eye opener.

    4. Rose M. Jenkins

      I too appreciated the statement about looking at things differently. Life can be much simpler if you look around you and learn your surrondings then become a part of your worl. Create your own character and live in it.

  9. Bob Roethke

    “Bungee-jumping to Eternity: Dead Poets Society and the Power and Limits of Existentialism”

    This post brought back memories of my father's strong influence on my life when I was growing up at home. My father’s worldview made him who he was and kept him who he was. His strong desire to control his family created conflict between us. I always struggled conforming to my father’s expectations and direction. Our struggle drove a wedge between us that kept me feeling separated and lonely. I knew what those boys at Welton were experiencing. I felt their frustration and anger. Mr. Keating was a great teacher. He was the real thing. He loved his students and practiced what he preached. He was filled with passion and his teaching objectives had meaning. The movie did a fine job showing what a tough world we live in. It is a real challenge for a Christian to change while living in this secular world. Thank God it can be done by abandoning the old self and believing in His son Jesus Christ. We must stand up and elevate ourselves from the rest of the world, continuing to rewrite our worldview with the wisdom and knowledge given to us by the Holy Spirit.

    1. Andre Dillard

      Hey Bob thank you. I never had a father growing up. My grandmother raise me so I can feel some of what your feeling. My grandma was the same way, but more from a "old southern christian flavor". It was always yes ma'am, no ma'am; yes sir, no sir.
      So when I wanted to go into the Army instead of being to 'obedient' church going boy she flipped!! to put it in a nutshell I was an outcast from my family, I considered suicide, but I was scared to die. It is amazing what will or self will that parents can do to a child at a early age.
      We need more of the Mr. Keaton types even in the Christian World who loves to "teach" Christ instead of forcing Christ.

    2. Chong Vang

      I agree with you about the conflicts that tradition and culture can create. It is even harder when those conflicts are coming from those closest to us. To make changes is difficult and we hope that the changes we make will be to create a better world for all of us. We should live our life to the fullest, challenging ourselves to be the best we can be.

    3. Ronelle S-Andrews

      Hi Bob,
      Great post. It's great that having Christ into our lives, makes a whole lot of a difference. God's wisdom is what we need to get through today's society. It makes it much easier to rewrite our story.

    4. Kim Cosby

      Bob,
      Rewriting our worldview with wisdom and knowledge from the Holy Spirit is exactly the idea that brings about change. I'm often wondering about the story that was not told, my thoughts went to the change in the worldview of Niel's parents, specifically his Mom, she seemed torn as she sat there silently, while her husband laid down the law to Neil. How did the death of her son change her worldview?

    5. Amy Kusske

      Bob,
      This happens so much but in a different way. I influence my daughter with a much different worldview than most around her and we battle due to the overwhelming influence from society. I think sometimes I get controlling and movies like this remind me of the great uniqueness God gives them and their eyes tell me to see inside who they are like in the Fiddler on the roof with his daughters. It is a hard balance, we are very blessed for the guidance and renewal from our Father.

    6. garydstratton Post author

      Bob, I think that a lot of men from that generation were like your dad, and Mr. Perry. Thank God for sons like you who are willing to live from a different script.

    7. Debbie Aaberg

      Wow Bob,
      This had to have been very powerful to watch knowing what you went through with your own father. Hopefully it helped you find your own strength by watching this!

  10. Chong Vang

    What I learned from Dead Poet Society is how hard it is to break tradition and worldview that has been rooted for generations. I am currently struggling with family and community members to change our view of life and some of our cultures which creates our worldviews. They feel it's important to keep certain things just because that's the way it's been, others because they are afraid to take that first step.

    Change is hard and often time you end up being all alone. This movie reminds me that if I keep at it, eventually enough people will switch over and changes will happen.

    1. JELIMB

      Chong, I agree with your perspective that "it is hard to break tradition and worldview that has been rooted for generations". We saw this clearly in the movie, "The Dead Poets Society", and I imagine that many of us have experienced this challenge in our personal or family lives. It seems that there can be a high cost for going against the "norm" or breaking out of previous boundaries and expectations. However, we saw from the movie, that there can be a high cost of staying status quo and not being true to values and dreams too. There seems to be no easy way to bring about personal or corporate change, but overall, it is important to be willing to try, come what may. Perhaps what I brought away from the movie is that truth, honor, and courage to take a stand are what matter most in the long run. May we be able to tap into God's resources and loving guidance–and if we need to stand on a few desks along the way–so be it. (I loved that imagery and experiential teaching from Mr. Keating, particularly as that example came full-circle for the students at the end of the movie).

    2. Ronelle S-Andrews

      Hi Chong,
      I agree, it is very difficult to break away from tradition. But some where down the line we also know the truth. How do we get at it is a different story. In this movie, I thought that the timing was wrong. The mind set of Neil was not fully developed. He still needed a strong support from home, which was not there.

    3. Kim Cosby

      I agree change is difficult. As my worldview is being fine tuned, I'm learning that some people can't go where God is leading me. I have tried to poke, prod and drag some loved ones into my new worldview, to no avail. So, sadly I have had to allow people to walk away and discover God's promise on their own.

    4. garydstratton Post author

      Chong, You are so right that "Change is hard and often time you end up being all alone." I cannot imagine the struggles of a second generation community trapped between a first generation old-country worldview, and an American worldview. I'm glad the movie helped at least a bit.

    5. Jennifer A.

      Chong your post was very honest and I agree with how hard it can be to break tradition. I am also struggling with my aging parents as I see them not aging well. They don't want to change or admit they need to change in order to improve their quality of life. I wish you the best in your attempts to influence your family.

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