Part 4 of: Hollywood and Higher Education: Teaching Worldview Through the Stories We Live By
If imitation is the highest form of flattery, then we are constantly flattering the people and communities who have transmitted their “scripts” to us… for good or for ill.
by Gary David Stratton • Senior Editor
Crash, 2006 Academy Award-winner for Best Picture, provides a powerful metaphor for why worldview change is so difficult.Crash follows a stellar ensemble cast through multiple story lines, most of which explore deeper and deeper levels of worldview.It is one of my favorite films for helping students explore “memes” and the “inciting events” that evoke worldview transformation journeys. [1]
In 1961, literary critic extraordinaire René Girard first introduced the idea that we borrow most of our desires from other people rather than developing our personal desires from scratch. Girard developed his highly influential concept of memetic borrowing throughout his long career, branching out from literary theory into theology, philosophy, and psychology. (See René Girard: The Greatest Christian Intellectual You Never Heard of.) [2]
Then in 1976, Oxford zoologist Richard Dawkins made the idea of memetic borrowing more palpable when he coined the term meme (short for the Greek root of “imitate”) to convey the idea of a single “unit of cultural transmission, or a unit of imitation”(in the same way that a gene is a unit of biological transmission.)[3] In Dawkins’ memetic theory, memes jump from “brain to brain via a process which, in the broad sense, can be called imitation” (p. 192). Since Dawkins’ initial publication, the field of Memetics has grown both in influence (it helped birth the idea of “viral marketing”) as well as skepticism as to its value as a theory of cultural evolution.
Staying on Script
The concept of memes is a useful interpretive key for helping for understanding why our worldview is so resistant to change. As memetics proponent Susan Blackmore explains, “Everything that is passed from person to person (by imitation) is a meme. This includes all the words in your vocabulary, the stories you know, the skills and habits you have picked up from others, the games you like to play, the songs you sing and the rules you obey.” [4]
In other words, like actors in a screenplay, we all follow “scripts” provided for us largely from outside of our own self-awareness. (Think of the role of “Tradition” in Fiddler on the Roof.) If imitation is the highest form of flattery, then we are constantly flattering the individuals and communities who have transmitted their “scripts” to us. Our worldview is so deeply rooted within us that we glide through thousands of “preconditioned” decisions each hour, following the cultural and philosophical scripts provided for us by the stories that have shaped us. We simply do what we do without giving a great deal thought as to why we do it. (See, Casablanca and the Four Levels of Worldview.)
These “scripts” exert such a powerful influence on our daily lives that it normally takes a significant “crash” to reexamine them. These crashes—unexpected events or decisions, often called “inciting events”–are a common devise in nearly all (good) films, but they are particularly evident in Crash. Writer/Director Paul Haggis predicates Crash on the simple premise that no one in Los Angeles deviates from the script of their daily “commute” without a crash.
In the words of Crash’s narrator, Det. Graham Waters (Don Cheadle):
WATERS: In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind
this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much,
that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something. .
Officer Dan Ryan’s racially-charged traffic stop ends horrifically for Cameron and Christine Thayer
Officer Ryan’s Scripts
One notable story line traces the interplay between LAPD Officer Dan Ryan (Matt Dillon), and socialite Christine Thayer (Thandie Newton). In one of the film’s early scenes, Officer Ryan gropes Christine in a racially motivated traffic stop. Later, he heroically risks his own life to save Christine from a burning car. In each case, he is unreflectively following “scripts” (memes) transmitted to him by the best and the worst of police culture. Only the “crash” of a life-and-death encounter with Christine jolts him into a completely new script of tolerance and understanding.
Ryan’s first “script” is rooted in the story of his father’s relationship with the African-American community. As a young man Ryan watched his father dare to treat his African-American employees with dignity only to lose his business to the city’s affirmative action policies. Now, his father suffers in agony from what Ryan fears is prostate cancer, and the one person standing between him and the specialist he needs is a no-nonsense African-American insurance adjustor named Shaniqua Johnson (Loretta Devine).
RYAN: I'm not asking you to help me. I'm asking that you do this small thing for a man who lost everything so people like yourself could reap the benefits. And do you know what it's gonna cost you? Nothing. Just a flick of your pen.
SHANIQUA: Your father sounds like a good man. And if he'd come in here today, I probably would've approved this request. But he didn't come in. You did. And for his sake, it's a real shame! [To security guard.] Get him the hell outta my office!
.
Ryan’s bitterness is no match for Shaniqua’s commitment to company policy
Dan’s frustration creates unstated presuppositions of injustice, anger and retaliation against all blacks that are only reinforced by the worst elements (memes) of LAPD culture. Dan never examines the cultural, philosophical, or mythical basis of his decision. He never asks how his father’s story, and the “racist meme” in LAPD culture shape his actions. He simply acts. With horrific brutality, he uses his power as a police officer to abuse Christine.
Click here to watch scene: Traffic Stop from Hell (Warning – Disturbing content)
In an instant, Christine’s life is shattered. Now part of Officer Ryan’s story of racism has deeply impacted Christine‘s story. His actions fill her with unspeakable anguish. Her personal life disintegrates in anger and confusion. Her relationship with her husband, Hollywood director Cameron Thayer (Terrence Howard) begins to spiral out of control as she begins to act out a “reverse racism script” she barely understands, but which her husband knows all too well.
CAMERON: You need to calm down here.
CHRISTINE: No, what I need is a husband who won't just stand there while I'm being molested!
CAMERON: They were cops! They had guns! Where do you think you're living, with mommy and daddy in Greenwich?
CHRISTINE: --Go to hell.
.
An unexpected crash brings Officer Ryan and Christine face-to-face in a fiery wreck
The Crash
Ryan and Christine’s new scripts begin with a crash (literally). Christine’s SUV crashes and flips. Gasoline spills everywhere. She is trapped in a burning car with a malfunctioning seatbelt and no hope of escape. No hope, that is, except Officer Dan Ryan. First to arrive on the scene, Ryan quickly springs into action following the hero script written for him (the meme transmitted to him) by the best of LAPD culture.
Then comes the real crash. Christine and Ryan face each other in an inferno that threatens both their lives. Christine suddenly recognizes Ryan and responds according to the script provided by the personal, cultural, philosophical presuppositions of her story. Despite the approaching flames, she refuses Officer Ryan’s frantic attempts to help her.
RYAN: Lady! I’m trying to help you!
CHRISTINE: #&$% you! Not you! Not you! Somebody else! Not you!
.
Transformed by their encounter (at least for a moment) Officer Ryan pulls Christine to safety
Momentarily confused, Dan suddenly recognizes Christine, not just what she is, but who she is, that she too has a story separate from his. The screenplay reads, “Ryan looks into her face and sees her pain and humiliation, and knows he was the cause of it.” His worldview begins to shift.
Full of shame, he begins to treat Christine with the dignity and respect he never afforded her in the ill-fated traffic stop. But to no avail. As the flames envelope the car, it is obvious that there is nothing to be done for Christine. Ryan’s partner begins to pull him to safety before it’s too late. The secret that could ruin Ryan’s life will die with Christine.
Suddenly, against all odds, Ryan completely rejects his racist script (meme) and fully embraces his heroic script. Kicking off his partner he dives back into the burning car, risking his life to save the same woman whose life he so carelessly degraded just a few days earlier.
Against even greater odds, Christine rejects her hatred script and accepts help from the man she has hated with archetypal passion. Her worldview shifts as she accepts his now dignified help and heroic rescue. Everything they thought about one another is changed in an instant; everything they thought about themselves is changing as well. As they weep together in a rescuers embrace both characters hover at the edge of transformation.
Click here to watch Unwanted Rescue scene. (Warning: explicit language.)
CHRISTINE throws one look back over her shoulder – hate filled with fear and gratitude.
RYAN watches her, equally confused, overwhelmed and embarrassed by his feelings.
As the scene ends it is clear that Ryan and Christine have each entered a new story–a story that will alter their future value and belief system, personal practices, and decisions. Their scripts (memes) change because they crashed into each other’s stories with sufficient force to jolt them out of their culturally transmitted roles. Christine returns home to reconciliation with Cameron (who has been in his own transformation journey). Ryan returns home and begins to treat his father with a new tenderness and dignity.
Snowfall in L.A.
Cameron Thayer (Terrence Howard) watches flames rise to meet a once-a-century snowfall
Paul Haggis’ masterpiece, concludes with the most unlikely crash of all—a once-a-century snowfall in Los Angeles. The snow is as unimaginable as a worldview shift. It is also symbolic. For decades, snowfall has served as a favorite Hollywood metaphor for “something is changing.”
As the audience considers this final image, they are challenged with the questions:“Will we continue gliding through the thousands of “preconditioned” decisions we make each day, or will the “Crash” of this movie cause us to reexamine them deeper levels? Will we dare to change?”
And as we rise we see the twisted chaos of the intersection, the cars and people and the (now freed) Illegals disappearing into the maw of the churning city. And it starts to snow.
FADE OUT.
Next post in the series: It’s a Wonderful Worldview: Frank Capra’s Theistic Masterpiece
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See also:
Hollywood and Higher Education: Teaching Worldview Through Academy Award-winning Films
Casablanca and the Four Levels of Worldview: Why Everyone Meets at Rick’s
Fiddler on the Roof: Worldview Change and the Journey to Life-Interpreting Story
Bungee-Jumping to Eternity: The Existential Angst of Dead Poets Society
Deep Culture: Is Winning an Oscar a Reliable Indicator of a Truly Great Film?
If you Live it, They Will Come: The Blind Side and Better Faith-Based Filmmaking
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Related Posts:
Using Zombie Movies to Teach Politics, by Daniel W. Drezner
The Joker Is Satan, and So Are We: René Girard and The Dark Knight, by Charles Bellinger
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Notes
[1] Paul Haggis, Cathy Schulman, Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Jennifer Esposito, William Fichtner, and Brendan Fraser. Crash. (Santa Monica, Calif: Lions Gate Entertainment, 2005). All quotations from, Crash. Story by Paul Haggis; Screenplay by Paul Haggis, and Robert Moresco. (Bob Yari Productions, Bull’s Eye Productions, Blackfriar’s Bridge & the Harris Company, 2004).
[2] René Girard, Deceit, Desire and the Novel: Self and Other in Literary Structure (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins Press). See also, Cynthia Haven’s excellent mini-bio in the Stanford Alumni magazine, “History is a Test: Mankind is Failing it.” See also, Michael Kirwan, Discovering Girard (London: Darton, Longman & Todd, 2004), The Girard Reader, James G. Williams, Ed. (New York: Crossroad, 1996), Mimesis and theory : essays on literature and criticism, 1953-2005 (Stanford University Press, 2008.)
[3] Richard Dawkins, The selfish gene (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1976). See also, Robert Aunger, Darwinizing culture: the status of memetics as a science (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2000). Kate Distin, The selfish meme: a critical reassessment (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2005). Robert Boyd and Peter J. Richerson, The Origin and Evolution of Cultures (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2005).[4] Susan J. Blackmore, The meme machine (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1999), p. 16. “So, for example, whenever you drive on the left (or the right!), eat curry with lager or pizza and coke, whistle the theme tune from Neighbours or even shake hands, you are dealing in memes. Each of these memes has evolved in its own unique way with its own history, but each of them is using your behaviour to get itself copied” (p. 16).
What I learned is that everyone comes with some form of a baggage, the sooner we realize that the sooner our life will be better. We never know if the person sitting behind us is getting a promotion or being laid off. We don't know if they are doing fine or just lost everything important in their life. We pass judgement too quickly and sometimes it's not even our place to do such thing. I heard of people who see a middle age father and his 5 year old son going through the checkout line using EBT card and people would make comments of why doesn't he get a job. Years later and I see those very same people now using EBT cards. When you asked them, "remember that father you question for using EBT". The would be speechless.
Exactly Chong, we have no idea what is happening in someones life, nor do we have the right to judge others. I continue to work on this. But having come from very meager means to where we are today – living in the suburbs and "middle class" – it can all go away with a sustained job loss or major medical issue. I am thankful and do not take anything for granted.
You have some good points. We do not know what is happening in people's lives. They always say you really don't know what someone is like until you live with them as in the case of the husand and wife and their response to each other when they were pulled over. We should not pass judgement on others because of their color or race. We should treat others and we would wanted to be treated just as the Lord commands us to do.
Great illustration. It's easy to believe the what we see (i.e., someone using an EBT card, or acting in a way that we don't approve) is the sum of a person. However, unless we've taken the time to get to know a person, all we see is a snapshot. In reality, there were millions of choices that brought that person to that situation. Not just personal choices, but choices of everyone around us.
I believe that's why God instructs us over & over again in scripture to decide *this day* what we will choose, life or death.
Tom, I like your reference to the EBT card, as that happened to my wife and I after we adopted her two sisters and brother. It starts at the office of economic assistance, and continues to every establishment we used the card at. After only three months, we stopped using the program mostly due to the way we were treated. It did not matter that we were both gainfully employed and were keeping my wife’s siblings out of a dangerous environment. It is hard to gain acceptance from the “public”.
The one scene that gets me every time is when the Persian Dad goes to seek revenge on the young Hispanic man and his daughter jumps in his arms just as the gun fired. I had forgotten that scene, and immediately started crying.
Right! I saw it when it first came out and forgot about it…as soon as I remembered that "something" was going to happen I got nervous. Thank goodness for blank bullets! He was so stubborn and it was very frustrating to watch his inability to understand that he needed a new door. Such a small change would have made such a big difference…..but then in reality, if he had changed the door there would not be anything to write about.
I had also forgotten this part of the movie and thought that he had killed the young girl. It is hard to believe that such small things like a door being broken can escalate due to a misunderstanding. Communication and a better insurance company would have helped alot in this story.
I too started crying when I saw the Persian dad walking toward the young man. I instantely knew that something terrible was about to happen but thank God for blank bullets!!
Yes, that scene is intense. If that were a real situation, it would be hard to argue that God was not in charge. The Persian man was given a lucky break and hopefully (again if this were real) learned something about himself and others.
That scene is hard for me as well…but so are many scenes in the movie. I love how strong the locksmith is that despite how he is treated (by Sandra Bullock's character and by the Persian dad) he remains a strong person and a positive role model for his daughter.
This was my 3rd viewing of this film. It is a great movie, but difficult to watch. Crash deals in a very realistic way, with the "isms" that are a part of our meme. We have all seen, heard or felt the effects of classism, racism and ageism on our worldview. Whether we are aware of it or not, we have biases about groups other than ourselves. For most of us, it will take an inciting event to make the necessary changes,to transform our thoughts and actions. I watched a reality TV show a couple of weeks ago, about people from different cultures staying at one another's homes to get a better understanding of each others culture. It was a black man from New York going to a small town with 0% black population. The gun-toting, Dad knew lots of "black facts", inspite of never meeting a black person in his life. He and his young adult son, were self described, rednecks. The bottom line of it is, these two men came together and learned about one another and respected one another. Their worldview was changed, thus their families were changed in the process. How fabulous is that?
Kim,
Wow–I am impressed with your succinct summary–particularly in your use of the words, "classism, racism, and ageism" which factor into our worldview. Many of the relational scenes in "Crash" portrayed elements of bias and the need for change in perspective and responses to relationships and circumstances. I found it interesting that my personal perspectives were influential in what I was expecting in the way of outcomes for the characters in the drama–and since I was wrong about a few things, I sensed a shift of my views by the time the story concluded.
In general, I am finding that it is important to be willing to acknowledge that I struggle with some of the same issues of bias as what were portrayed in the movie–and to think about possible changes in my worldview and responses to relationships and circumstances.
Thanks for your thought-provoking post!
I was thinking about my biases and really thought I don't have any. Then I realized that I don't think that I am all that biased against people of color, but I really have some against people that have tattoos and funky hair and hair color and those that have lots of piercing. Yet from some of these people I have seen such acts of kindness and generosity. I work downtown Minneapolis so I see all kinds of people, but I seen "those" people give money to the people with their signs saying they have no job or whatever and their hands out, Folks that I just ignore walk by. They are often the first to open a door or show some other courtesy to me. I am being shown that I need to let go of biases and treat people as I would want to be treated.
Hi Kim,
How wonderful! This story leaves me speechless. It's a beautiful thing to actually see all of God's children seeing themselves in one another. Love is the key. When we learn to love as Christ did, we would never have this problem because God is love and He created us in His own image. Who are we to judge what others look like? When we get to know each other, then we learn from each other, that's how we build a strong community.
After reading this article I thought about how I became who I was and what has enabled the changes in my life today. The word “imitation” is used in this post to help understand the definition of a meme, everything that is passed from person to person (by imitation). This process of memetics, giving birth to the “script” we follow, unconsciously influences our decisions in living out our story. Memes resists change. Sin resists change. Being so, I pray that we do not imitate what is evil but what is good. I pray that our Worldview becomes a Christ view with our journey’s goal being to “imitate” Jesus Christ and not the world.
Bob,
"Sin resists change." great observation. Change is difficult and most often painful, but usually a neccessary first step to moving forward.
I agree with you Kim. Pealing every layer off the onion is difficult or painful but each layer must come off. Can't change a worldview while being dominated by the old self.
Hi Bob,
I loved your comment on what we imitate. I have seen so many people who go through bad events or even just bad luck in life and because those around them refuse to help, they turn around and become worst than those people. For example I have seen people move form rags to riches and when they have money, they refuse to help those in need because they feel no one help them so people need to learn just like they did. I love your comment, great point.
-Chong
I enjoyed this movie, yet it was very disturbing to watch. One character that I thought was profoundly damaged was Jean – (Sandra Bullock) when she needed help no one was there for her. All of her relationships and "friends" were superficial and it was hard for her to come to that realization. The only one there for her was the housekeeper and she was paid to be there.
I agree with you Jeannie. Parts of this movie were disturbing. This process of change we all go through can be tough at times affecting our sensitivity to life. I noticed differences into the way people reacted to their changes in CRASH. Jean seemed to be much more sensitive and was reaching out for help and forgiveness (focusing on the past) while Anthony prided himself in what he has already accomplished as a man affected by change (focused on the present). Change affects people in different ways and at different speeds. What disturbed me the most was watching Hanson lack the power and courage to make the right decision after shooting Anthony. Doing the right thing isn't always easy and can cause some to CRASH. Life can be disturbing but at the same time God can turn us around and get us going into the right direction making life enjoyable.
HI Bob, I agree with the Hanson aspect…very powerful and disturbing! He was so jaded at that point that he thought there was no way that a black man would be in to country music, or appreciate St. Christopher….then to over react and kill him when he was just trying to show that they had so many things in common was very sad.
This was the most disturbing part of the movie for me as well. Without his badge Ryan was very timid, considering how he acted earlier in the day with Terrance Howard.
I found that incident very disturbing to, for a cop to be so quick with the gun to shoot and kill someone and then cover it up. Another crash. these two young men did have a lot of things in common and a lot of the same likes and yet the one with the most power and the most to loose, really lost his soul in this incident. That is character, what you do when no one is looking.
Yes this scene was disturbing and Ryan, his partner along with the previous events that took place in the movie made an impact on the situation that took place. That being said the man was a police officer and the guy was acting hostile wether he started it or not and was reaching into his pocket. I think that instinct had a part to play in this as much as race. Cops like to see your hands at all times and unfortunatley this is a result of the shots being fired in the other direction. Dont pick up strangers.
Jeannie,
I found that to be sad, too. Money can't buy everything and social status does not mean you will have lots of friends.
Hi Jeannie,
I agree with you and even then she didn't even treat the maid very well either. Those are people that I feel only knows you because they feel they have to. Personally, I want people around me who wants to be around me, not because they feel they have to.
-Chong
Jeannie, Yes, I agree that this movie was "disturbing to watch". I did not know what to expect–and I found that the intensity was a bit much to absorb. That said, I feel I may need to watch it again–perhaps a little more objectively rather than getting caught up in the drama of it all, and so that I can gain a better understanding of what was happening with the characters. I was also interested to see Jean in her "lonely hour" of need. I wondered if both she and the housekeeper had to change their worldview and perspective as they experienced a powerful human connection which seemed to transcend previous boundaries. (seeing the hug that wouldn't let go) Perhaps the universal "human need" for connection is something we all wrestle with in some manner or another. Thanks for your post.
This movie was disturbing to watch. Jean was so self absorbed and her friends were just like her. It took her own "crash" to the bottom of the steps to start to realize what her "friends" really were. That she considered her housekeeper her best friend is very sad. I wonder how many people are like? I know at least one person that doesn't really have any friends, he has lots of money like Jean but no friends. Life is not all about me.
You are right! Jean's character really learned this the hard way. Sometimes we under-looked people that are truly there for us and care about us just because of their status.
as unfortunate as it can be some times it take something bad to happen in your life to show you who your really friends really are. Sometime they are the one's you least expect
Jeannie, Ii is sad how superficial people can be, but what I found out is you real freinds come out
when you go through a crisis. It might turn out to be only one or two people, but that is all you need. I think families should be the primary support system, but that doesn't always work out either.
I agree that fact that Sandra's character had no one to turn to despite the fact that she seems to "have it all." Money and status doesn't give you happiness.
During that scene, all I could think of was the end of It’s a Wonderful Life, when the whole town come out in support of George Baily. Very impactful when you put it into context of how each of them lived their lives.
What I learned from this movie is that people sometimes don't see things through the same lens as others until they actually live through a similar circumstance. I also believe that a true charactor of a person unveils when that person is faced with a stressful situation and is forced to react under pressure when nobody else is watching or knows what's going on. To me the racist cop (Officer Ryan) turned out to be somebody completely different, which brought him to a point where he saw his father through a new set of eyes ( i.e. his father's pain) that enabled him to be a new man towards his father.
My perception of a person tends to be shallow minded at times especially when I don't know the person very well. In this movie, being just a trailer of each person's entire journey, the more time the producer let a character be exposed the less critical I tended to be of that person. God knows us pretty good. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Knowing God gives me hope to stand on and the compassion to treat others like he treats me. God was at work in this movie. Something I questioned myself about was how permanent or temporary the changes were in these people who CRASHED in the movie. I saw racism being used as a representation of sin. People get shocked into behavioral change but I look back at how I have CRASHED and the changes I went through were only temporary. Getting so sick and tired of CRASHING brought me before the Lord. Before I took up Christ's yoke, after the shock waves of CRASHING subsided I always returned to doing things the way my old self dictated. What I did get was a foretaste and hunger for change and the sensation of the Lord's presence. My redundant experiences convinced me I could not change on my own. Thank God for the workings of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Your post got me thinking, Ronelle. I had to write it down.
I think that is one of the key points Paul Haggis (writer-director) is trying to make. If we really knew each other's situations would be a lot more compassionate.
I would also agree. In the past if someone was not working or laid of you wondered what was wrong with the person or maybe they were just lazy. Well recent economic conditions have shown alot of people this situation. Its a real eye opener when your the one in that situation. But on the brightside I am getting alot of homework done today, hopefully have work tommorow.
That statement, "If we really knew each other's situations we would be a lot more compassionate" is so logical and obvious, but this movie did such a tremendous job of pointing out how so many of us don't think like that on a regular basis. I saw myself in a few of the character's actions and was ashamed knowing that I may react as they did in some of the situations. Following the characters makes me rethink my tendency to make snap judgements based on a person's appearance without really getting to know their individual situation. Although it is a hard movie to watch (even the 3rd time) I know I learn something about myself every time I see it.
everyone is guilty of making snap judgments about others based on our experiences, whether right or wrong. But i think the important things is for us to see these preconceived judgments that we make and learn from them to become better individuals, not only to ourselves but to others.
His transformation seemed to soften his heart. Seeing the effects of his actions, the woman he assaulted would rather stay in a burning car than risk being assaulted again by him, she didn't see him as a person there to help, but someone she could not trust.
Hi Ronelle,
I agree with you about going through similar circumstances however, I would challenge the issue that we are to show each other with love and respect. I understand the frustration Office Ryan was going through however, that does not give him the right to abuse his power. I tell alot of teens that just because people were racist to you does not mean that you stop caring and stop respecting people. But you are right, once he saw it then his perception and life completely changed.
-Chong
Ronelle, I liked your mention of the "lens" through which we see things–and how this influences our worldviews and responses to situations we experience. How true! It is easy to have an element of tunnel vision–and not be able to comprehend the broader view of a circumstance. We also can easily make snap judgements or respond to difficulties in a manner which isn't the result of a clear view of the situation. Our worldview and past experiences certainly factor into how we navigate difficult circumstances. The movie "Crash" was full of examples of characters struggling with their perspectives and responses to relationships and difficult circumstances. Thanks for your insight!
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